Scheana Shay Shares How Prioritizing Meaningful Friendships Helps Protect Her Energy: It’s Been a Refreshing Choice
Scheana Shay.
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Jon Kopaloff/Getty
NEED TO KNOW
- Vanderpump Rules alum Scheana Shay recently discussed her decision to refine her friend circle on the January 9 episode of her podcast, Scheananigans with Scheana.
- Shay emphasized that she is prioritizing “quality over quantity” in her friendships to “protect” her energy.
- “It’s been very freeing for me,” she remarked.
Scheana Shay is candidly sharing her approach to friendships, focusing on nurturing relationships that feel mutual and supportive. During her podcast, she reflected on the shift in her social dynamics, saying, “I felt a responsibility to keep up with everyone, to check in, to be available, to make sure no one feels forgotten” among her friends. She acknowledged the overwhelming nature of maintaining numerous friendships.
At 40 years old, Shay has learned that balance involves “giving intentional energy to the people who are also showing up for you.” This realization has led her to manage her friendships not out of obligation, but from a place of genuine connection.
Scheana Shay at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in New York City on November 4, 2025.
Taylor Hill/FilmMagic
Shay expressed her desire to protect her time and energy, stating, “I’ve finally learned what boundaries are.” She clarified that this boundary-setting does not diminish her appreciation for others; rather, it reflects her intention to invest in relationships that uplift her rather than detract from her well-being. “It’s been very freeing for me,” she added.
Recently, Shay has strengthened her bonds with friends Maddie and Christy, noting, “This past year, stepping away from the show, I got so much closer with them.” She emphasized how shared experiences and similar values have fostered a strong connection between them.
Scheana Shay with Janet Caperna and Brittany Cartwright on ‘The Valley’ on Bravo.
Griffin Nagel/Bravo
Shay also highlighted the importance of her new friendships with other mothers from her daughter Summer Moon’s preschool. “You really are who you surround yourself with. I’m choosing to surround myself with women who build me up,” she said, contrasting these relationships with those that made her feel pressured or uneasy.
Shay reflected on her ongoing journey, sharing that stepping away from reality television has provided an opportunity for personal healing. She encourages others to seek clarity by recognizing who is present during difficult times, rather than just during moments of joy. “The smaller your circle gets, the cleaner it becomes who truly belongs in it,” she summarized, underscoring her commitment to nurturing meaningful connections.
