Brooke Nevils Discusses Consent in Her Relationship with Matt Lauer: Why Consent and Agreement Aren’t the Same

Brooke Nevils, Matt Lauer.
Credit:

Beowulf Sheehan; Jason Kempin/Getty

NEED TO KNOW

• Brooke Nevils has responded to Matt Lauer’s description of their sexual relationship as “consensual” after she accused him of rape during the 2014 Winter Olympics.
• “Consent and agreement are not synonymous. When one person has power over the other, it’s not really consent. It’s submission,” she told NPR.
• Nevils discusses the alleged rape—denied multiple times by Lauer—in her new memoir, Unspeakable Things: Silence, Shame, and the Stories We Choose to Believe.

Brooke Nevils has publicly reacted to Matt Lauer’s assertion that their sexual relationship was “consensual,” following her allegations that he raped her during their coverage of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. In 2017, Nevils accused Lauer of raping her in a hotel room, while she was working as a talent assistant for NBC’s Today show. In the aftermath of her complaint, Lauer was terminated from the network within 24 hours, leading to additional allegations from other women.

Lauer, now 68, denied Nevils’ claims, asserting that they were “untrue or mischaracterized.” In a letter subsequent to the allegations, he characterized their relationship as “an extramarital, but consensual, sexual encounter.”

Nevils’s memoir, Unspeakable Things: Silence, Shame, and the Stories We Choose to Believe, delves into her experiences, including the incident and its aftermath. During an interview with NPR on January 29, she rejected Lauer’s claim, stating, “Consent and agreement are not synonymous.” She elaborated, saying that in situations of power imbalance, what may appear as consent is, in fact, submission.

“When one person has power over the other, it’s not really consent. It’s submission,” she explained. “In our industry, hotel rooms aren’t viewed the same way they are in a social sense; they are commonplace venues for meetings and rehearsals.”

The book cover of Unspeakable Things: Silence, Shame, and the Stories We Choose to Believe.

Penguin Random House

After an on-air statement from Savannah Guthrie, Lauer’s former co-anchor, NBC confirmed the receipt of complaints regarding his “inappropriate sexual behavior,” leading to his dismissal. Subsequent investigations revealed additional allegations from other women, including one from a former employee who claimed Lauer sexually assaulted her in his office in 2001.

In light of these accusations, Lauer acknowledged the personal impact of his actions. “I regret that my shame is now shared by the people I cherish dearly. Repairing the damage will take a lot of time and soul-searching, and I’m committed to beginning that effort,” he stated.

Nevils’ account further came to light in Ronan Farrow’s book, Catch and Kill, where she described being “too drunk to consent” and declined Lauer’s advances multiple times. In response, Lauer maintained that Nevils’ story was filled with inaccuracies designed to misrepresent their encounter.

As she prepares to release her memoir, Nevils reflects on the burden of her experiences and the culture within NBC. She expressed that the dynamics in such workplaces can create significant pressures, as those in power wield their influence in everyday interactions.

“When I made that complaint, I knew who Matt Lauer was,” she stated. “I was breaking a sort of code by speaking up, and I worried about the consequences for my career, but I felt I had to say something to prevent this from happening to others.”

Nevils’ memoir, Unspeakable Things: Silence, Shame, and the Stories We Choose to Believe, is set to be released on Tuesday, February 3.

Brooke Nevils, Matt Lauer.

Beowulf Sheehan; Noam Galai/WireImage