Barbara Gordon, TV Producer and Memoirist of Valium Struggles, Passes Away at 90
Emmy Award-winning TV producer and documentary filmmaker Barbara Gordon, whose personal struggle with Valium addiction was poignantly depicted in her 1979 memoir I’m Dancing as Fast as I Can and its 1982 film adaptation, passed away at her home in New York City on April 7. She was 90 years old.
Gordon’s passing was announced by her family last week, although details were not widely reported until now.
“Although an urbanite through and through, she was a force of nature,” her brother, Edward Loeb, remarked in her obituary.
In her memoir, Gordon offered a candid narrative of her mental health challenges and dependence on benzodiazepines during a time when the drug was routinely prescribed with little scrutiny. The bestselling book garnered a spot on the shortlist for an American Book Award and was adapted into a film featuring Jill Clayburgh, directed by Jack Hofsiss and produced by Scott Rudin and Edgar J. Scherick.
Despite the hype, the film received mixed reviews and did not resonate with Gordon. She expressed her disappointment, stating, “It was an awful disappointment, so different from the book, so unfeeling, so yucky. But I’m not the first writer who had her book horribly altered by Hollywood and I’m afraid I won’t be the last.”
Jill Clayburgh as Barbara Gordon in 1982’s ‘I’m Dancing As Fast As I Can’
Despite the lackluster reception, the film contributed to raising awareness about the risks of prescription medication addiction. The memoir’s title became widely known in the 1980s and ’90s, even serving as a punchline in Tony Kushner’s acclaimed play Angels in America. Gordon explained the origins of her title by referring to a Catskills joke in which a man informs a woman at a singles resort, “I’m only here for the weekend,” and she replies, “I’m dancing as fast as I can.”
This phrase not only reflected Gordon’s sense of humor but also emblemized her whirlwind lifestyle and career during the 1970s.
Born Barbara Sue Loeb on December 19, 1935, in Miami Beach, Florida, Gordon attended Vassar College and graduated from Barnard College. She began her career at NBC as a secretary and quickly transitioned to writing for the Today Show. She later worked with public television and at CBS’ flagship station, WCBS in New York.
Gordon produced segments for the celebrated PBS series The Great American Dream Machine from 1971 to 1972. Throughout her television career, she received three New York-area Emmy Awards.
She is survived by her brother Edward Loeb, his wife Melinda, three nephews, and other extended family members.
